Can You Keep

A Secret?

From the desk of Emily Akuze
Syracuse, New York

Dear You,

Let’s skip the small talk.

You're here because you want something.

Maybe it’s a thrill.

Maybe it’s a secret.

Maybe it’s just something honest to read while you drink your coffee and try not to scream.

Whatever it is—welcome.

I'm so happy you're here.

Also, I've got something amazing for you that will make your ~~day~~ everything really, really, really good.

I promise.

What is it, why should you care, and who am I?

Hello, nice to meet you.

My name is Emily Akuze, and I write love letters.

I'm 54. I live in upstate New York. I have 2 children, a dog and a husband I still bother to fight with.

I've written all sorts of things over the years.

(I was a low rent desk copywriter at Ogilvy & Mather back in the day, I wrote hardboiled for a small town newspaper doing crime reporting in Chagrin Falls OH, I did fashion blurbs for Vogue back in the 90's when they were on Madison Avenue, just across from Barneys (once it was just Anna and I in the elevator for 3 whole floors, and I would like to pretend I had the courage to say hi to her, but I chickened out). I even wrote freelance for the J Peterman catalogue when they started in Blue Ash, before they became famous(er) on Seinfeld.)

But these days, every morning, I just write a little love letter.

And I'd love it if you'd consider joining in on the fun.

Sometimes it’s a confession.

Sometimes it’s an answer to someone who’s made a glorious mess of their life.

It might be about sex.

Or longing.

Or the ache that hits at 3am when you remember someone you haven’t seen in years.

What I write isn’t long.

It won’t take you more than three minutes to read.

But it will make you feel something.

It might make you blush.

It might make you laugh.

It might make you wonder what the hell you’ve been doing with your life so far.

I call it How to Write a Love Letter, and it's my little cheat sheet for all things love, life and sex.

Is This The Greatest Secret In The World?

You see a few years ago, I stumbled upon what I honestly believe is the greatest secret in the world.

It helped me go from The Big Bad (yes, that’s a Buffy reference, straight out of the gate)... to something pretty damn good.

It’s served me well these 54 years and counting, and I think - just maybe - you might like to use it too.

Here’s the good news:

It’s 100% free.

You can do it wherever you are.

No sweating, no supplements, no chanting, no cold plunges.

You don’t have to talk to anyone.

All you need is your phone or your tablet or whatever you use to check your emails.

And 3 minutes.

Now the bad news (if you can call it that):

It’s a little addictive.

And sometimes—just sometimes—there’s a little bit of sexiness involved.

You see, I’ve learned something strange but true:

No matter what kind of chaos is going on in my life—or the world—if I spend a few minutes thinking about a love story, the rest just... softens.

(and before you roll your eyes and think I'm some kind of woo woo nutcake, you might want to hear what happens next)

The bills still exist.

The dog still has to be taken for a walk.

My husband still mutters.

But I feel better.

And when I feel better, the world treats me better.

Tiny shifts.

Magic shifts.

A smile from a stranger.

A compliment that lands just right.

Suddenly the coffee’s hotter, the light’s softer, the luck’s... better.

At first I thought it was just me being dramatic (as usual).

But then I started telling a few friends.

Just a casual—"Hey, I’ve been doing this weird little thing where I write a tiny little love story each day and now I seem to be getting luckier..."

And oddly, the same thing started happening to them... just by reading my love stories.

Better days. Lighter hearts. Small miracles.

One friend got a promotion.

One got laid.

One got both.

I’m starting to think I’m onto something.

So I wanted to try a little experiment, and thought maybe you might like to join in.

I’ve started a secret little club.

It's called How to Write a Love Letter...

And it's a lot of fun.

Here's how it works...

Here’s how it works:

🖋️ Each morning, I write a tiny teensy little love story. It's like if Carrie Bradshaw, Fleabag and Killing Eve had an older sister who'd just got out of prison - that's the style.

🎁 Then I send it to your email.

💌 You read it (takes less than 3 minutes)

💫 The world gets a little better.

It might be a first kiss behind the school gym.

Or a scandalous encounter on a sleeper train through France.

Or like the one I'm writing today, where a dear reader has asked me what I think about her boyfriend wanting her to dress like his dead wife.

Sometimes it’s tender.

Sometimes it’s weird.

Sometimes it’s hot.

But it’s always a little love story.

I call it the second best email in the world, and it's my little gift, everyday, to you.

You don’t have to do anything.

You don’t even have to be in love.

You just have to look in your inbox, and there it is.

All nicely gift wrapped, and waiting for you to open.

If you’re curious, come try it.

(and BTW, it's free forever)

You can unsubscribe anytime.

Or binge-read a week’s worth in one lazy afternoon.

No rules, just love.

**Praise for How To Write A Love Letter...**

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 "Imagine if Carrie Bradshaw, Fleabag and Killing Eve had an older sister who'd just got out of prison, that's Emily Akuze"— sraha47

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 "Emily makes me feel like I’m not crazy. Or at least not the only one." — biitchz#19

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 "It’s like therapy, but slutty." — Literally a stranger on the internet

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 "My favorite part of the morning." — Definitely someone with a sex dream last night

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 "Every time I read one, I think, ‘Well that’s unhinged.’ Then I save it in a secret folder." — A woman who won’t admit it’s about her

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 "She writes like someone who’s been to church, court, and bed—on the same day." — Unknown commenter (possibly my ex)

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 "Real problems. Bad decisions. Honest answers." — Review left at 2:37 a.m. with no punctuation

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 "It’s like if Dear Abby had a hangover and Ayesha Erotica on repeat for her playlist."— Reader review, 5 stars, said between sips of wine

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 "Love letters with teeth."— Someone whispering this into her pillow after midnight

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 "I subscribed because I thought it would be fun. I stayed because it made me feel seen—like, soul-naked seen." — Email reply from a reader named Jules

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 "The Letters You Were Never Supposed to Read? No kidding. I feel like I’m eavesdropping on something holy and unholy at the same time." — Anonymous, but definitely Catholic

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 "I didn’t know whether to laugh or confess something. So I did both." — Five-star review, deleted and rewritten three times

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 "These aren’t advice columns. They’re emotional crime scenes—and I keep coming back." — Screenshot shared in a group chat titled "Regret & Rosé"

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 "This is for women who still think about that one kiss from 10 years ago. People who read advice columns just for the comments. Anyone who’s ever typed a love letter, read it back, cried a little, and deleted it. In other words—me. And probably you, too." — 5-star review from a woman who should definitely not be texting her ex right now

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 "For women who text 'I’m fine' while Googling how long it takes to forget someone. For anyone who’s ever said they’re ‘over it’ with tears still drying. For readers who come for the gossip but stay for the existential crisis."— Review from someone pretending to be emotionally stable

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 "It’s for women who still reread old text threads like they’re love poems. For anyone who gets ruined by a certain kind of song lyric. For the ones who never stopped believing a letter could change everything." — Signed, a hopeless romantic with very expensive headphones

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 "This is for the beautifully unhinged. For women who’ve fantasized about revenge and then cried during sex. For the ones who know desire is a kind of haunting, and write their own obituaries in eyeliner." — Anonymous (obviously)

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 "It’s for women who love too hard and text too fast. For the ones who know better but do it anyway. For anyone who’s ever whispered ‘just one more time’ and meant it." — Subscriber with a burner phone and a therapist

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 "For the women who want to be good but sometimes want to be ruined more. For the ones who write drafts they’ll never send. For anyone who’s ever wanted to confess something… but didn’t." — Reader review, posted at 1:14am, deleted at 1:16am.

Why am I doing this... for free?

Well, like I said, I'm a writer.

And, as well as this little daily love letter I also write a cozy little weekly serial - The Love Cafe, the always fun Emily Akuze Is A Liar series, the ridiculously popular underground adult erotic Claudette Jones novelettes - The Curious Whore, and a few more.

What can I say, I like to write.

And I figure if you get a free taste of my stuff - and like it enough - then you might consider buying some of my books sometimes.

Or not.

It's a marketing idea I got from a local street heroin dealer I used to see when I lived near 12th Street back in 1995, back when it was still a bit scary to live in that part of the city.

Either way the daily love story is - and always will be - 100% free for you to enjoy.

And what about if I also offered you this free little bribe bonus
(and guaranteed you no one would ever find out)

🎁 Your Free ~~Bribe~~ Bonus: "Seven Little Sins".

When you sign up today for the daily email, you’ll also get a little gift from me: “Seven Little Sins”— a beautifully designed, exclusive little mini-book featuring the seven most infamous, beloved, and secretly-forwarded Dear Emily letters from the archives.

These aren’t just letters.

They’re confessions.

Emotional grenades in lipstick-stained envelopes.

A secret collection of the most outrageous, addictive, and emotionally indecent letters from the How To Write A Love Letter archives.

Inside, you’ll meet:

✍️ “Dear Emily, My boyfriend wants me to dress like his dead wife”

She found the vintage dresses in his closet. Then he asked if she’d ever consider wearing red lipstick. Now she’s wondering if he sees her—or just a second chance in someone else’s clothes.

✍️ “Dear Emily, I slept with my son’s best friend”
He was polite, twenty, and staying for the weekend. What started as cereal at midnight ended with her pressed against the washing machine whispering don’t wake the house. She doesn’t know if she’s a monster—or just human.

✍️ “Dear Emily, I fake orgasms because I love him”
He’s sweet. He brings coffee. He kisses her like he means it. But she’s never finished—not once—and now she’s stuck inside a lie she created with her own moans.

✍️ “Dear Emily, I miss the man who ruined my life”
He lied. He cheated. He broke her in the precise shape of herself. And now, three years later, one text from him still makes her heart race and her dignity dissolve.

✍️ “Dear Emily, I catfished my husband to see if he’d cheat”
She made a fake profile. Just to test him. He replied. Enthusiastically. Now she doesn’t know whether to confront him, forgive him, or message him again as her alias.

✍️ “Dear Emily, I think I’m in love with my therapist”

She swears she was just working on her trauma. But now she’s fantasizing about the way he uncaps his pen. Every session is foreplay, and she’s not sure if she wants to be healed or held.

✍️ “Dear Emily, I want to leave my husband—but we just bought a couch”

They haven’t had sex in seven months. They argue about towels. But they just spent $3,400 on a custom sectional, and she’s wondering if regret comes with financing.

These are the ones that got saved and shared and liked and talked about the most.

Printed out.

Texted to exes.

Read in bed at 1am under the covers.

You’ll laugh. You’ll wince. You might need to lie down. But you’ll want to read all seven.

This collection is free—but only if you sign up now.

Think of it as your little guilty pleasure.

Because sin, like pleasure, is better when it feels just a little bit forbidden.

So if you feel like “Yes, I want 'Seven Little Sins'” + the daily love letter, both 100% free forever, then click the big red button below now...

This little secret book isn’t available anywhere else—and it’s only available to new subscribers here for a very short time as part of a limited time promotion my publishers want to try.

The only thing is I don't know how long they will make it available so - if you don't want to miss out - then sign up today.

And even if you try it for even just a few days then unsubscribe, you still get to keep Seven Little Sins, free forever.

So, if you’ve ever wondered what might happen if Dear Abby wrote for The Sopranos...

Subscribe now - 100% free.

With love (and just the right shade of lipstick on the envelope),

Emily

@EmilyAkuze

P.S. For the TLDR among us…

This is an invitation for an experiment I’m doing - an odd little club I’ve started - to see if you'd like to join in.

It’s kind of simple.

Each day I write one little love story (I’m a writer, it’s what I do).

All sorts of little love stories. It's like if Carrie Bradshaw, Fleabag and Killing Eve had an older sister who'd just got out of prison.

I send it to your email about 11 am each day - takes you less than 3 minutes to read - you read it and the world gets a little better.

I call it the second best email in the world.

It’s 100% free, and might just be the stupidest idea I've ever had.

But it might not.

My evil plan is to give you a free taste of my stuff and - if you like it enough - then you might consider buying some of my books sometimes.

Or not.

Either way the daily love story is - and always will be - 100% free for you to enjoy.

You can join here now, it’s 100% free forever, and you can unsubscribe anytime, or just read one every now and then.

Also - if you sign up before the promotion finishes - you can get a free bonus copy of my mini book collection of the most talked about Dear Emily letters (not available anywhere else) - "Seven Little Sins".

Maybe try it all now 100% free, and see how it feels.

Questions Other People Have Asked Me Before They Joined In All The Fun...

❧ What exactly am I signing up for?

Each morning, I send out one tiny love story. It could be sweet, sultry, heartbreaking, hopeful—whatever I feel like writing that day. You never know what you're going to get. That’s half the fun. They’re short (3 minutes max), and if I do my job right, they’ll make the rest of your day feel a little warmer.

❧ What time will I get it each day?
I send them at 11 AM my time here in New York, but the internet gods deliver it to your inbox at 11 AM wherever you are. Like magic. Or fate. Or maybe just time zones.

❧ Are the stories explicit?
Not exactly. I’d call them suggestive with good manners. Nothing you’d be embarrassed to read on a train (unless the train is very quiet).

❧ Is this really free? Forever?
Yes, the daily stories are free forever. You never have to pay a cent. I do write other things—novels, serials, the occasional scandalous little paperback—and I’ll let you know when those are out, in case you want more. But the daily love story? Always free.

❧ Can I unsubscribe if I change my mind?
Absolutely. There’s a little link at the bottom of every email. You can leave anytime, no hard feelings. (Though I do reserve the right to miss you.)

❧ Will you sell my email or spam me?
God no. I hate that. Your email is safe with me. I only use it to send you your daily love story, or to let you know when I’ve written something new that I think you might like.

❧ Can I read past stories?
Nope. There’s no archive. Once they’re gone, they’re gone. I like it that way—it makes them feel more like little secrets, shared in the moment. If you want the story, you’ve got to show up. Just like in love.

❧ Who is this really for?
Anyone who wants more love in their life. Not just romance—though there’s plenty of that—but the feeling of being connected, seen, delighted, surprised. If you’re someone who likes a good story, and has a good heart, I think we’ll get along just fine.

❧ What if I miss a few days?
Then you miss a few days. Some people read it every morning with their coffee. Others save them up for a quiet Sunday. There’s no right way to do this. Just open the ones that call to you.

❧ How will I get my "Seven Little Sins" free book?

My team (basically that's just Jennifer and her cat) will send you a welcome email. You reply to that and she will send you a link to download and you can be reading and laughing along with the other cool kids in the next two minutes.

Easy peasy lemon squeezy.